Sunday, November 18, 2012

nu blog

STOP

STOP

Literal

I'm getting messages that everything "has to be literal."

Thinking

Ellen DeGeneres doesn't like people to think.

Problem

I DON'T THINK THAT MY DAD FLIPPING THE TRUTH IS SEXY.  HE'S BEING HAIRY.

Problem

LOOK, ELLEN DEGENERES IS NOT A PSYCHOLOGIST.

STOP

LOOK I TOLD YOU TO STOP

IF YOU DIDN'T DO IT THEN STOP

Problem

I will not accept this.

My dad has been defensive and now cannot be offensive.

STOP

STOP

STOP ATTACKING MY MOM

Problem

I DON'T WANNA DO THIS

Stop wasting my time.  I'm busy.

STOP

STOP PUSHING ME TO MY BIOLOGICAL DAD

Problem

It seems everyone has a problem if I say anything.  I wasn't saying anything bad, and please don't hurt the people I talk to nor anyone because you don't have to, unless it's like you're like defending someone, like for instance I know in a physical situation.

STOP

You don't have any manners and don't want me to be an okay person.

STOP

STOP ATTACKING ME WITH TIM BURTON.  I GOT A MESSAGE ABOUT HIM.  I DIDN'T MEAN HIM ANY HARM, AS MOST PEOPLE DO.

SHUT UP.  SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING.  TELL THE WORLD.

Submission Denied

Why does Ellen DeGeneres want you to be submissive and lose your rights when you are constantly feeling attacked by everyone for what or who you are?

STOP

I'M TIRED OF THE ECHOS OF THE TANTRUMS OF PEOPLE UP NORTH

Apparently, they think everyone has to get hurt.

BAD

So, why are we pretending to attack my dad?

High Expectations

The expectations of a baby have certainly raised.

Finesse

Whenever I make a point that seems to finesse, my dad explodes.

Food

I'm not sure what's wrong with me?  Just need a lot more upper body workout?

I had pizza this week.

STOP

STOP HAVING ME LIVE NIGHTMARES LIKE I'M A PIECE OF SHIT

STOP

Attack

I'm getting attacked by Ellen DeGeneres.  Well, that or her minions.  Well, or my family.  Maybe, I'm just naturally getting older.  Why do I get in trouble?

Anyway, so, why doesn't she say how old she wants her fans to be?  Like, people from the Baby Boom and like girls who are born say 1998 - 1999?  With the support of older girls born 1987 - 1997?

HELP

People are trying to hurt Ellen DeGeneres.  They won't give anyone a chance.  They don't realize they are not good people.  They need to be punished.

HELP

LOOK, WHO'S CAUSING THE UNREST?  FANTASIES?  I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU YOU WERE INCAPABLE!

DON'T HURT THE GOOD GUYS IN ANTICIPATION THAT OTHER PEOPLE WILL WANT THEM HURT IN SOME WAY, IN THE END.

Now, wouldn't it be nice?

Wouldn't it be fortunate to go on in life and do things like get on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show?"

Beeline

So, why is everyone suddenly making their beeline for Ellen DeGeneres?

Mixing

I don't know if it's good for parents born around 1950 to marry women born around 1960.

Mixed Race

Ellen DeGeneres's dad is supposedly not from the U.S.  Though, I don't know if he's all French.  I couldn't tell.  He seemed really nice and smart.

Why is she allowed to do all these things?

Explosive

BAD

WOW YOU ALL NEVER HAVE A POINT

Sending Out Messages

So, Ellen DeGeneres sends out messages that don't make sense and thinks all our reactions are genuine and totally accountable, on us and our moms?

Because I keep getting reactions that nothing I've been worth is worth anything, so that it's like I'm being pleasured like an animal that shouldn't exist.

The Rich and the Poor

So, people in the suburbs are shitty, and people in the city are nasty?

STOP

WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A TAIL OF NIGGERS

Problems

It seems that my dad's whole family has problems.

STOP

I just felt like the shape of a light sack pump on my left, which I thought was the female side.

Boring Things Into My Physically

Why are you trying to physically bore into me all that my dad is, when I'm 26?

Turning People Against Me

So, you're trying to turn my dad against me?

LEAVE MY BABIES|EGGS ALONE

STOP

LOOK I'M TIRED OF THE PAYOFF SHIT ON TIM BURTON.  I CAN FEEL EXPLOSIVE ABOUT HIM IF I WANT.

STOP

LOOK THIS ISN'T FUNNY GET OUT OF MY MOM AND I'S LIVES

After

Tag

I tagged my last post.

Piano

I just realized I got glasses possibly 2nd semester of 4th grade, though I thought it was the 1st.  I just posted this on IMDb:
I guess I didn't like just playing the piano! I dunno! My aunt sent me some music in the mail that was the same as my 1st piano lesson. I didn't tell the teacher and turned into a musical prodigy.

Modern Culture

Please don't verse me on modern culture.

3 Hair Colors

White|Gold, Black|Brown|Blonde, & Maroon|Tinted Hair

College

I just wish I never did so much in college.

My Life

I tried to get a role in a film and was trying to become a model and turned down 1 opportunity.

Something to Do

Wouldn't it be nice to go to Disney?  We can't afford it, and I already have a college loan.

Lost My Good Grades

I came across this incredibly hard course in 11th grade.

Money Money Money Money

So, my problem is money.

Something You Need to Know?

Something else you need to know basically is that my grandma has been commuting to live with my aunt after I stopped going up north, after I felt upset with my other aunt.  I don't think she's coming, anymore, though.

STOP

Please stop misjudging me.  You are far from perfect.

Fat

When my brother was born and I started ballet, I started to look fatter.

Gymnastics

I know one reason I wasn't very happy where I was was because I looked funny from doing gymnastics, but my mom did gymnastics.  My dad was a nature boy from a farming family.  He grew up drugged on hay fever and never succeeded in school though was considered a good reader.

Where I Lived

So, I don't really like all the places I lived.  I liked Boca Raton less than Jacksonville and Jacksonville less than the Fort Lauderdale area.  Saint Augustine was probably the 2nd best but not very formative.

Threats!

Please stop threatening my mom.

Over My Head

Why are people going over my head all of a sudden all the time?

Where I'm From?

Is your purpose to interact with me and say I'm not from where I was born?

Not Where I'm From

I've always been bossed and led around by people not from where I'm from.

Where You're From?

So, what's it about, where you're from?

Moved

Oh, one of my aunts just moved to another part of Florida, the older one.  Well, when we moved to Orlando.

FL

So, first, my dad's youngest sister moved there.  Then, his next youngest sister did.  Then, my parents did.

Fort Lauderdale

So, I lived in the Fort Lauderdale area until I was 5.  My aunts live there now.

In Common

So, does anyone else have anything very much in common with Ellen DeGeneres?  All I can say is that I've never been very fair very much.

Moving

I'd like to move to St. Augustine, FL, or, possibly, Jacksonville, FL.

Well-Known 8I

I was known well in the community when I was 15, 16, 17, 18, & 19, in the New Orleans area.  A boy had just left from New Orleans when his friend died who was in drama with us so he'd forget about it...

Personable

People in the New Orleans area are so personal.

They're a bit harsh in Northeastern Florida.

When I Moved

When we regrettably moved to the New Orleans area, there was supposed to be a fitness center by some schools.  At first, I felt so bad, in my room, bouncing this big ball, I thought and just wanted to die, but I got over it soon enough.  I had problems with being fit, I guess.  I did do gymnastics growing up and was the best, though teams weren't rampant there.  My parents wanted me to play tennis where we used to live, and when we moved they wanted me to ride my bike.  I ended up following my brother in martial arts and did ballet at a modern dance school and lost my scoliosis but stayed in it until I turned 21.

Ah, yes, nextdoor, there was a 15-year-old boy with a divorced dad.  I'd write in the sand in the backyard.  That sand's not there anymore, maybe because we fenced in a dog.  I don't think that's why.

The reason I couldn't stand the New Orleans area was because it didn't have the Florida coastal sea breeze, but now that I'm in Orlando I've been able to survive.  I soaked in the painful heat and the constant moving air.

My Reputation Where I Lived as a Pre-Teen & Teen

My identity in the New Orleans area was like, at first, the new girl, who happened to be taking private piano lessons and who liked more subtle music.  Then, I became known for being an artist and playing the piano.  Then, I became known for taking over an important parish as an organist and singer.

Harsh Discipline

So, why do I need implemented so much harsh discipline?

Forum

I just joined the forum on Ellen DeGeneres: forum.

Talents

So, decide if my talents are important for you to use.

Sociality

Am I supposed to be at the bottom?

Award

Ellen DeGeneres receiving the Mark Twain award.  It just slipped my mind and I saved it for later.  I Don't know why, but I felt kinda settled and ready.  I didn't intend to forget and meant to remember...

link

Making a Big Deal

People are making a big deal at little things I do wrong and turning them into big things, now.

LOOK JUST STOP WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM

Looking for the Answer

I guess Ellen DeGeneres looks for a specific answer.

Stressed



My Race!

Making Points

When I make a point that applies to everyone that's new, no one listens because I'm 1|2 Chinese 1|2 American.

Also, I noticed Ellen DeGeneres says something when she doesn't have the answer.

Honesty is the Best Policy

So, would you call Ellen DeGeneres generally the definition of altruistically "honest?"
Johnny Depp

Saturday, November 17, 2012

When You Don't Reach a Conclusion, Do You Just...

When you don't come to a conclusion, do you have to do "some thing?"

Edit

I downloaded and old blog and deleted a phrase in it.

Potiphar

Now, I sound like a young adult from the New Orleans area!  '=D

Potiphar

I was listening to me singing that more and I realized I sounded like people from the city I lived in in the New Orleans area but in like my way, stylish.
Tim Burton!

Potiphar

I was singing that song from JatATDC.  When I sang the ending twice, I couldn't get the key right and was like warbling.  I think this has usually happened lately.

Photo of Me from February 2010

Photostream

Set

New Video of Me Singing

"Fairest Isle"

YouTube

New Video of Me Singing

"Oh Shenandoah!"

YouTube

Surrounding Someone

It's funny how people are aware of how they influence you a lot.  It's funny they don't respond right away and help you get better on your own.

I was wondering, though, about me, as a person, because like I was thinking well other Chinese are white and such.  I know kids like me but are treated more white yet are delicate like I was.  (The side of my head just popped, literally, like really thick.)  I'm pretty literal and to-the-point.  8I

HELP

So, the only person I know who was famous born in 1962 is Jodie Foster, and I'm not sure what race she is.

Post on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show"

link

STOP

STOP

THIS PERSON ISN'T "BETTER" THAN ME

STOP

IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION, JUST ASK IT

STOP

STOP WASTING MY TIME

STOP

LOOK QUIT ABUSING ME

I'm sexy and I know it!

Hey, howcome every sexy person is leaving me off?  Why would I leave one sexy person for another?

Intellects

I think I'm more accomplished intellectually.

Where People Are Going

Wow, I noticed that Ellen DeGeneres doesn't know where she's going.  I forget.

HELP

If you aren't nice to someone now, you won't take advantage of me later.

SOMEBODY, HELP!

STOP

IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE

STOP

Accomplishments!

Look, why does everything I want become tagged as the ideal for other, unaccomplished individuals?

STOP

WILL YOU JUST STOP TALKING MEANLY TO ME IN "SIGNALS"

Do you want to talk about it?

Clues

So, if you look at my Flickr and probably lots of other clues, you can tell that things have been set up so that a message gets sent that anything I'm interested in automatically becomes tagged to certain someone.

Pleasure Against Others

Why do you think you can take pleasure against other people and then say your punishment was your failure|s?

A Problem Child

People are treating me like "a problem child."

Over Your Head

Did you ever think it didn't make sense that if you did something and something went wrong that something "doesn't work out?"

Let It Out

So, if certain people are mean, what happens to them?  Just feel sorry from them?  Time to let out what's really what.

Photos of Me

I added new photos to my Flickr: Photostream.

Set 1.  8I

The saying goes

How can something you say cancel out what you really mean?

YouTube

I added a description: link.

STOP

Are you just gonna sit there and deny everything I do ... whoever or whatever you are.

Wrong

If I'm wrong, can't you be?

Post Edit

I tagged my last post.

Point

I can never make a point.  If you so much as speak to me, you get in trouble.  I'm not the only one who has a point.

Nothing Happens

When I make a point nothing happens.

Mixed Race, I Mean Nonwhite Race

Pretty much, if someone is mean to me - or underhanded with me - gives me less than the best total outcome, I am mad because of being mixed race and the results I've gotten from that in my life and being played around with and unable to figure out where I really am or should be now.

Well, from being a non-white race.

STOP

STOP MAKING FUN OF ME AND OTHER PEOPLE

Question

Why do you question my worth?  Why is it then that you do not others's?  You could probably like treat them differently, rather than like appraising them for not being non-white racially.

STOP

GET THIS PERSON TO LEAVE ME ALONE

STOP

GO AWAY

STOP

STOP BULLYING ME

Edit

I tagged my last post.

Hurt

People are really hurting me just for thinking like everyone else like I have.

Mixed Race 8I

So, I never even really had the option to leave quietly?

Annoyed

I have some annoying people in my life.  They seem to be trying to hurt my reputation.

What Makes a Person Okay

So, what makes a person okay?

Always Right

Apparently, Ellen DeGeneres thinks she's always right because she had white hair until she was maybe a teenager.

STOP

My dad is making fantasies of flinging someone around as not even all white.

Tired

I still have my bowl of rice.

STOP

STOP SAYING I DO THINGS I DON'T DO

Bad People

I wonder how people like my dad so much just because I'm half Chinese.

Bad People

What do you think of people who crash in whenever you're happy and aren't productive?

STOP

Ellen DeGeneres isn't using logic!  STOP!  STOP ACTING LIKE MY DAD!

STOP

SHUT UP - YOU WANNA BE CALLED A NIGGER

BAD

So, you think I deserve to be punished?

STOP

STOP

STOP

STOP

STOP

STOP

STOP

I SAID, "STOP."

STOP

MY DAD IS A LIAR

STOP

SOMEONE GET MY DAD OUTTA LIFE

STOP|HELP

People are going out of their way to insult me and getting like really upset for little things I do that don't make sense and are unfair.

Eating

I'm having plain cooked mushrooms and Caribbean rice.  P8

Dream

As some cars rode by, they reminded me of my dream.  Ellen had these slabs of ice (glass) hold me up on a wall and watch me feel perverted but not in a like really weird way.  Except, she wasn't really there.

Dream

There were these toys and one had really nice gold hair in red and maybe then yellow light.  The toys alternated with gold hair.  I picked up a male farmer and it stayed gold awhile.

Dream

Also, in the dream, there was like some kind of casual country music, and I was clapping like it was dirty.

Good Enough for Me

I just realized what's not good enough for Ellen DeGeneres is good enough for me.

Dream

So, I imagined Ellen was talking to me as figments of her present self around a big room with a screen projectal.  I guess she was pretty much barking at me.  Like, she was telling me maybe how to get stimulated and maybe how not to.  So, she did something wrong, apparently, and was definitely going to the police, too.

Dream

So, in this big room on the floor, I put my hand out and felt a solid clear thing that was hard and kinda smooth yet soft.  I put my foot out and it went through.  I did this awhile, and eventually a big black police with beady kinds of eyes and a flashlight showed up like, "That was it."

Disagreements

So, if I make a point, someone dissects me and denies me.

Used|Using

So, I realized that people are using me genetically to get stimulated.

Before

I guess from before, I imagine people thinking they can get me to get stimulated.  Like, I'm not feeling so fit, and I clonk down, dirty for some reason, and I feel like a hand on my crotch.

Bathroom

I've been waking up and going to the bathroom quite a bit.

Dream

So, I was pretty upset etiquettely.

Before, I was in a room like floating around imagining being stimulated by someone for some reason but not like a full person.  It was pretty long.  I was doing stuff before, and then I heard my grandma and great uncle and kids.  I put my arm over my eyes, my puny, dirty, stinky, smelly, stenchy, arm, but it doesn't smell too disgusting.

Well, I guess I should figure out why this happened!  I know before, I imagined it sorta and it became kinda concrete.  I don't remember the nature of it.  Ah, yes, I was awake and thinking of all the problems she caused me and imagined she like put her arms around me.  Anyway, that was why.

I've become more solid, thanks to others.  They related an excellent idea!  8)  You should have a solid square sorta elongated triangulared curved inwward triangled face.  Except, kids here in Florida go crazy, literally, and adults find it rather funny.

Dream

So, I'm wondering why I did that. I think I just do it. It was a dream. I knew it was a dream. I knew I wanted to do it.

Dream - The CAB

So, there was like a thick thing you could drive with between me and the other person.  There was a big layer of like barrier from front to back.

Before I Went to Bed

Before I went to bed, I thought I was able to be enveloped in something that I wanted to be enveloped in, like a machine.  It made me mad, and it still does.  So, then, I started like thinking of defending myself and heard some cars go by and started losing myself but not wanting to actually hurt anyone.  I had gotten mad that someone wouldn't control their defenses as I settled down.

Dream

I had distinctly remembered some toys I may not have ever seen.

I also imagined I had a little strip of a machine that showed my classes where I saved my grades.

Dream

So, my right arm just got solid like the space under my crotch.  Now, my foot is getting solid.  Kinda, like it's giving me a warm tingly feeling.  Like, it just got really strong and feeling.  The skin is flapping and shaking.  My heart just got hard like a pebble.

So, what was really amazing was that I was able to feel arbly and time what I was feeling with someone.  It was so nice to get on the lap of a lady.  I can't say it was totally satisfying.  It was sorta faded by then, like a flash of images.  Anyway, I was really warm and comfortable.

Dream - AH! HELP!

I was really feeling bad.  I'm not sure what happened, but lots of people were attacking me, young and older.

So, I'll start off explaining I was riding in the police with ... okay, so I woke up with my head pumping but for now in a godo way.  I was in the car to the police with Ellen DeGeneres.  So, what was happening before I hope I remember.  Before I went to bed, I was like thinking I was controlling myself being stimulated.  I was able to imagine that she did something I did in a previous dream with Orla Fallon.  I was in a seat next to her in a theater and put my arm around her and cuddled with her across a big seat.  So, since she was being mean and it was her fault I went, I was hoping she'd put her hand on my back, but then she started rubbing it, and it made me like warble and sorta jump and she didn't respond but knew.  She had a little girl with honey hair on her lap, and I was fine.  She wasn't cute, totally, but seemed to have nice hair.  I'm not sure what was up, but I kept imagine these feelings with my back getting rubbed.  IT was sorta the silly feelings, like feeling dizzy but not feeling it much.

It was something I did.  But it was the figment that was rubbing my back.  I had exerpienecd these feelings, previously, but not from her, though probably partly from her and othersm though I don't know for sure.  I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but I was really upset when I went to bed by like everyone but some little kids.  I did want to do this, but it ended happening, like I did something that happened to me before I went to bed.  So, somehow, I pretty much imagined I was getting on someone's lap, which I don't do much.  It seemed kinda like her but not like feel like her.  It did seem like her.  I guess I didnt like this.  So, she was still rubbing my back, and I guess I imagined eventually for some reason I was like having sex with her.

So, before that, I think I was thinking about other things.

So, this little kid came up to me and told me I'd be going to the police.  It was something I did to my mom.  I was in a big room full of kids.  I was alone before or with Ellen.  Or with others.  There wa someone in the back of the car, like 3 levels, a reporter girl.  So, anyway, I also woke up feeling like at my crotch that there was really something solid, and I still do.  I think I woke up on her lap, though.

Going Back to Bed 3)

Dream

I was in a class run by nuns where I chose a college major in Music Education.  I kept leaving and coming back.  I was with my family, I think.  I was like relocating.  I was in the car with what was Taylor Swift, who was a little huskier like me, a boy from Pennsylvania, and maybe someone else, a kid.  I was showing them a collection I had of animations I made inspired by Tim Burton, on a screen, things I cut and pasted onto different backgrounds.  We got out of the car, and I brought it.  A stack of CDs and a 1 CD.  This time, I asked the nun the difference between majoring in Music Education and Performance.  Like, I was getting into like that Music Education I liked and that people did it for fun.  She asked me my range.  I couldn't test it on the piano and said it was F and low C.  I had been warming up, oh, in real life and was cut off.

Edit

I tagged my last post.

Going to Bed Soon

I'm pretty tired.

STOP

SHUT UP!  LEAVE ME ALONE!  QUIT RUINING MY BLOG!

STOP

HEY!  STOP!  What did you do!  Stop invading my privacy!  (While I was typing the last message, just before.)

Bothered

So, I'm bothered.  I said something, happened to do with someone, and then I said something that someone else would say in my place, but I didn't really mean it.

Messages

So, who's giving me these weird messages, and who told you to do it.

STOP

Look, quit criticizing me from where I come from with what I post online because I'm constantly being insulted!

Messages

So, why isn't Ellen DeGeneres very like ... like I get these messages when I'm alone, and they're flat out rude!  It's not nice, and it's impolite...  Like, I can't take charge of anything.  Like, I can't belittle people at random, and others do it all the time around me.  What if I have kids, someday!  What's gonna happen to me!

Temper?

It seems you always have one.  This is so not worth my time.

OW

There's a sharp itch in my butt!

Bad

Everyone thinks I'm always wrong.

Critical

Ellen DeGeneres doesn't solve critical problems.

STOP

SOMEBODY GET THIS PERSON

STOP

STOP

STOP

STOP

STOP

SHUT UP

STOP

STOP

SOMEONE GET THIS PERSON - GET THIS PERSON TO LEAVE ME ALONE

STOP

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU - GO AWAY

STOP

TELL THE WORLD WHAT YOU SAID

STOP

STOP

LOOK, if someone has a problem, you don't have to hurt them for it!  Learn to think, maybe!

STOP

Quit insulting me.  Do you know what's been pounded into my head in private at random?

HELP

Wow, you really have a lot to get out.

HELP

I just got a really sacrificial image!

Message

I just got the message that someone is pretty much nothing.  I didn't get mad at their problem.

Mad

So, I was watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," and it seems my dad made her not be allowed to like me or else he'd do something to her.

Also, I've found out that they've put me out of the picture.

Rejected

Ellen DeGeneres doesn't listen to me because I'm 1|2 Chinese.

Also, I'm getting worn watching her show every day, this season, but I don't think that's because of her nor anyone in particular.

Question

So, I noticed Ellen DeGeneres isn't really an open person.  Maybe, she doesn't have all the answers, which makes her seem "too flawed."

Messages

I keep getting all these messages as a result of watching Ellen DeGeneres.  I think it's clicks in my room and other sounds like gurgling people made under instruction of my dad.

She was more caring last season, but this new season she's the opposite.  I admit she's more turned on.  However, I'm suffering terrible discomforts.  She doesn't seem to think things through comfortably.

Also, I noticed my dad isn't really always nice to people.  There can only be a bad reason.

So, what's the big deal about posting your picture online and the city you live in?  I understand Facebook promoted this.  I know I don't go to dangerous websites, but I go to popular ones.

My dad doesn't need to be mean to people.  I don't understand what's wrong with other people I know, why they can't contain their feelings and are so unsettled and inherently insulting.  This is all just sin of the Baby Boom generation.

It seems that the pleasure of the Baby Boom generation has been apparently turned off.  They are just there to provide the standard example.  I know it's not real, but it could be.  I don't know the cause nor if it's good nor like the real foundation for what's what.

So, I'm not like out to get Ellen DeGeneres.  I'm mad at the cumulative messages I've been getting since I was withdrawn from college.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Just Got Back

I just got back from the mall and went for a jog and a walk.  I'm looking rosy.  I also took a shower.

Psyching

Why does Ellen DeGeneres keep trying to psyche me that I'm crap?  ':[

ell, that's what I feel, from the messages others give me as clicks in my room.  I don't really care much about it, though.

Ah, quit!  You're making really perverted sounds.  WTF your problem?  SHUT UP!...  This won't stop and you won't know what happened.  I'm getting these noises to like knock me out, like a pervert.  I'm not sure if it will get worse, but I know it's wrong.

HELP

I'm getting perverted messages.  Really perverted.  I don't know why.  Like, it won't stop, and I'm being bugged.  It's really annoying.  Well, it'll stop for sometime.

Dream

In the dream before, there was a point I imagined one person was from like more of a country that was rather solid but an island smaller than England and Ireland, and that someone with them was from a similar yet different island.  The 2nd person was rather like kinda slick and fragile.  The other was understanding.

There was something else I remembered but don't remember now.

Dream

I was on a trip, program.

I remember I went in a room alone and was imagined being carried and having someone, a female, put there arm on me in front.  I went like in a room, alone.  Supposedly, that person would be there.  I got made fun of, like by some Asians, when I put my foot on the side of a bed.

We went to a gift shop with food.  I left my money there.  We went to a more expensive one that was set up like a ride, except you walk.  I didn't have enough money.  We went back, with a girl like an Asian I was, and I called the number I had remembered on my cell phone for a credit card.  The other girl, who bought something already, was called something and then like a nigger.  Then end of dream.

Before that, I was with some girls.  3 of us were gonna do band.  We couldn't pick an instrument, and I was the one who came to.  A bunch of attractive girls came and sat on a couch, one on my feet with straight long honey hair and bangs and it felt good, kinda warm and tingly but a little other worldly and major.

I was trying to lock myself in a room that wasn't taken.  There was a dark room, that was supposedly a bathroom, with like 4 doors to lock.  I think someone got through one.

I went on that ride, and they advertised something that was like something else I thought of in 3 words, but "Alice, Alice, Alice," maybe.  I equated myself with not being a pretender, and an old man sitting at like a long table connected on the side facing me admitted that little kids could copy me.  He said it would be interesting if I plowed through with people my age trying to copy me.

Back to Bed

3)

Dream

The middle girl from "The Brady Bunch" was like the person I got in something.  She left me like some stuff, and I remember a big thing and 2 small things of liquid or like perfume|potions and one saying "Helena Bonham Carter."

Later, I met her and the oldest girl.  They spoke to me.  I did something and they noticed.  Things happened.  They looked young and had kinda small nails but that like took up a lot of the skin at the front of their fingers.

HALP

I'm being insulted a lot, intensely!  No one will think.

Going 2 bed, soon!

Nighty night.  3)

Edit

I was looking to delete something on an old blog but could not find it.

HOT

Update

I added a new blog to my list of old sites I forgot: link.

Cookies

I just made some chocolate chip cookies.

Dusty

I seriously have to vacuum.  xp  I'm not well!  I need food.

Story

So, I've had some interesting dreams on Ellen.

First one I remember was I was in like a studio with a shaded off kitchen, with petitions.  I was trekking her but not feeling anything.

Then, or maybe this was first, she was really like fatter and old and was tired coming off stage and I was trekking close to her.  She was surrounded.

Next dream I remember I was on the floor of a house and she might have like said seemingly, "Get up," and she lifted me under my arms.

Next dream, I thought this was real, like a round rover lifted me by my lounge shorts and placed me on a hard carpet by the door.  I was in my bed.

Next dream, I posted recently, well, a figment was starting to pick me up, and I tagged it as someone else at first.  I was being carried and I said stimulated like 100 times or was this the next dream, and like I first was in front of the person and then on the side.

Next dream, I posted in this blog, seemed real.  An arm came and put its hand on my private.  It was ghostly but seemed really solid.  It carried me around for a long time, and I was you know just faintly yet intensely in a way stimulated.  Wait, then, didn't this turn into something?

No, that's not all.  I've had dreams of her fingers.  The first one, she was feeling my fingers, like going up them, with her fingers.  The next one, I just described, she was rubbing my arm from under a blanket and I was apparently rubbing back her fingers, I said in my blog, which I think I remember, now.

Colbert

I'm too tired to watch him.  I was gonna go to bed but decided to eat.  I'm gonna have a mushroom & olive pizza, probably the whole thing, a big chunk of beef, and a zucchini chopped and cooked, baby spinach cooked, and mushrooms cooked, the vegetables all cooked together.

I don't need another life-shaking dream, but I think that these dreams are good.  I am just guessing that they are the result of what happens to me.

I guess I'll write a sorta story like a dream.

Question

So, when something weird comes up and you're in a bind anyway, what do you do?  Come to a conclusion?

Like, time, how long does it take for you to get over something?  How do you know that it will get better if you do that?  Will something bad happen if you do something you don't need to, just this time, or would you consider it like sucking up in a good way?

Experiment

Sometimes, I hear faint clicks and other types of remote other-worldly noises constantly.

I have to be careful on the computer, usually don't stop typing and am sensitive to how things load.  I'm trying to get over it.  I have to move the cursor down, too, so it doesn't like keep loading and stuff.  I have to be careful everywhere...

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Just Did Some Core Workouts

I just did a few minutes of core workouts and feel much better.

Edit

I added a star to the video of me talking about Keira on Ellen.

nu video of me

@ watching Keira Knightley on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show"

YouTube

Edit

I bolded parts of my last post.

Dream

I remember the part near the end where I was supposed to look up and print a song that had 2 distinct parts on being happy or like walking.  It was a song I supposedly knew.  So, I remember I was under some covers.  This lady, Ellen DeGeneres, put her hand on me and like sorta finger-knuckled me to get up, posing as my mom.  I was rubbing her fingers.  It was funny, supposedly I had literally imagined her like generously massaging me on the top of my back.  I guess she was kinda mellow and caring.  I did get up, right away.  I was sorta on a machine that was supposed to be a computer.  It had different like shelves where it opened more after the 1st 2 with certain options controlling what it did to like my website, that showed up on like an arcade screen.  Also, supposedly, I had a nasty, little brother.  Maybe a baby sister that was sweet and fair like Ellen.

Then, there was another part in religion.  Finally, I was in the class.  They proceeded to separate people into non-singing women, which squawked like me, Irish boys, and then the select rest of us, girls, to walk like along the road of a forest.  The religion teacher was proud and protective sorta of singers because they had to be church singers, unless they were private prodigies.

The dream was pretty long with lots of people before.  I called the little boy stupid for being mean to me and said other people were worthless and later said he wasn't.  We were like at a store, like a grocery store.  I sorta said sorry on the floor of the computer room.

So, I liked the part near the end before waking up where the lady was like poking at me with her fingers.  It did make me feel in that area, gave me that sorta tingly, warm feeling in that area.  Kinda nice, not too mushy.  It was funny, the person left off sorta saying or thinking okay that it was funny I supposedly imagined her rubbing me.  I had waltzed down the grocery store recently  thinking of how I literally imagined things, covering things I really had go through my mind, more or less.  I don't really do that, anymore, imagine things so much, but I probably would.

So, it was really mysterious when the person touched me.  Nostalgic.  Like, time to git up.  Like I was a good person, though I was kinda  in a rut.  Like mentality and healthwise.  I just hadn't made the right decisions and was not forced to live richly.

Nighty Night

I'm going to bed, now, tired.  Didn't accomplish much.  Getting healthier.  Liked watching Jimmy Fallon.  Plan to watch Colbert.

Absolutely Beyond Pestered

So, basically, I'm getting annoying Ellen DeGeneres messages like as clicks and such in my room.

STOP PLAYING WITH ME

STOP

STOP

THESE PEOPLE WON'T STOP BEING MEAN TO ME

STOP

THIS IS SO STUPID. GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME!

SHUT UP

Ya'll are weird.

You all are just weird, think no one deserves to be happy.

Don't tell me that I have some heritage that's more corrupted than any other.

Fine, be sarcastic.  I know that's not how things roll.

WTF?

Look, quit being rude to me about weird feelings.  It's rude!  You're just being rude!  Don't pretend you aren't.  Just blame my dad.  Well, don't listen to him!  Don't you think the Bible says you'll go to Hell?  Why can't I do whatever I want?  You're just racist.  You don't care about anyone.

Oh, no!

I'm getting an influx of rude messages.  Watch it ... "reach new dimensions."

STOP

Look, stop coming in and leaving me rude messages.

I just wanted the world to know I wasn't shit.

No Right to Be Mean

I know this has been said a lot, but I don't think it's right to be mean to me when you are nice to me sometimes.  I know you ended it on that my mom is Chinese.

Disgusting

I'm not 100% sure who did this, but my right thumbnail popped out when I was in the car with my dad.

Hey, I was gonna watch some videos online, but you bothered me again.  Leave me alone about hurting other people.  Don't hypnotize just me to be ugly.  Hey, leave me alone.  Did you just tap into my left boy sack?  Help!  I'm no weakling, but maybe my life wasn't very encouraged.

You are evil people to conspire with my father.  He thinks it's okay to be mean.  He was being nice, but I don't know what happened.  He got slighted one day, and I questioned him, after awhile.  I know he doesn't like it, but it doesn't technically matter.  Now, I lost his good streak.  Thanks a lot.  I wonder if it's from wanting to watch (or watching) "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."

Look, I didn't do anything.  No one cares about how I feel.

I just got a really disgusting message...

nu video of me singing

YouTube

Just Being Stupid

I really don't follow Ellen DeGeneres's logic.  I get these side notes.  She seems to think she can torture people I look up to, like trash them, like other people will be convinced to.  I wonder why that is.  That makes me really mad.  Someone do something.  You'll all get tired out because you're not doing the right thing and are just being stupid.

Plowing into Things

I'm from Florida, and I don't think you can plow into everything and make it bad.

Stripped

I'm upset.  So, I stopped calling my grandma over the summer every day.  It seems that my life has become less exciting.

I cannot say it's the worst, but the possibilities have narrowed.

SUR-prise!

Why does Ellen DeGeneres like to surprise and hurt you?

She does seem to make you take things literally.

Also, shall I start something, how she's making me look like a nigger, or was that Jimmy Fallon?  I just watched my ne video, and my eyes, getting bigger, look like a black person's, kinda like my mom's mom's.  I saw a Southern|Eastern European lady on TV in a commercial, and the black people looked like they resembled her.  I think she has mixed emotions how I didn't follow her on Twitter over the summer and didn't say so.  I was following her a lot, before.  I thought she'd tell by me not Retweeting her.  I didn't like say oh follow me, but I cannot say that I'd flat out not beckon it.

nu videos of me singing

YouTube

1 more

Jimmy Fallon!

I just watched my first episode, full, of Jimmy Fallon.

I've walked in on my little brother watching him, as well as Colbert...

My dad also looks up to greatly and admires Jimmy Fallon...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Deleted

I deleted it.

nu video of me singing

YouTube

I deleted it.

What I Wish I Did

High School

Year 1
1 Religion I
2 English II
3 Geometry
4 History
5 Biology I
6 Health | PE I
7 Civics

Year 2
1 Religion II
2 English III
3 Algebra II
4 History
5 Chemistry I
6 PE II
7 Advanced Math

Year 3
1 Religion III
2 English IV
3 Calculus I
4 History
5 Physics
6 English V
7 PE III

Loyola University New Orleans - Communications & Required Minor in French
Take 18 credits a semester and 3 classes in the summer and graduate turning 20.
Work for Disney Junior @ Burbank.

Tacky Nonentities

I don't think I should have to go through tacky nonentities.

I just did some upper body workouts.

upper & core

Jillian Michaels - No More Trouble Zones

Dominos

I'm eating Dominos.  Pepperoni pan pizza, spinach and something else filled bread, and the chocolate lava cakes.

Mean People

Why are the people on Facebook on Ellen's show being so mean?

Maybe, they aren't.

Ellen DeGeneres and Race

This is a topic on Ellen DeGeneres and race.

She does seem to follow the cut out thing and not latch onto something like the Chinese.

Race

Why did all the other mixed race people not act that European?  Perhaps, they hid.  I know Asians seem to have problems looking Asian but in a good way not just like a painful way.  I know people from hotter climates struggled with skin that wasn't as light as Europeans.

Help!

My right eye contact stung me one day recently.  It turned blurry today.  It made my eyelid close more.  That eye also has been going, like, felt disconnected and solid and like faded or blurred.  Not exactly what I described, but you know something like that.

Comfits

My dad used to be more respectful of me.  I finally got pretty when I wasn't doing gymnastics.  He respected, in a way, my affections for others.  My life never did get successfully comfortable.

New Site of Old Stuff

listed on my list of old blogs|sites

link

My Family

My mom was harsh to me before, but I thought it was because of my dad.

TV

So, me deciding to watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" makes me liable to her for deciding to do something that would make me feel better?

STOP

Look, do you want me to really call the police?

Non-Europeans

Wow, you all don't like to think and are mean.  You are also suggestive to people who are not European.  They really use other people in bad ways.  They just hide what they've done.  I don't really want to hurt anyone, but it's hard to think the wo

I noticed that people have drawn from Ellen DeGeneres's show.  I want to know right now who made the crap up about the disgusting negros with bloody eyes popping out.

Overly-Analytical

Why do we have to over analyze things because of Ellen DeGeneres?  She doesn't believe in morals.  xp

I Think

I think my dad is even hurting people who are mean to me just to punish me.

What's going on?

Is my blog in danger!  :0

Talent

Ellen DeGeneres is aggressive, but in some ways my mom has other talents.

STOP

Look, can you just get out of my mom's life insulting her?

If you wanna talk with me, you can.  Don't just blast in, literally!  :p

Time to Eat

Help!

Google

Dinner

Yesterday, all I had was bagels and cream cheese.  I didn't feel like eating at the mall.  I already had breakfast and lunch.  :|

R&R

Pretty much, when I'm relieved and starting to enjoy myself, something will literally blast in.

My Dad

I don't like the way my father has been treating me.  I don't like how he has to be involved in my life how he is because it's really considered inappropriate.  I know it's also how this message is relayed via others.  Sometimes, he has to be nice when he's around me.

I look funny!

I look kinda funny.  Maybe, the bacon?  I had Wendy's recently and before a Domino's order and have been having some stuff like this like 1 - 2 times per week.

Edit

I updated my last post, added italics.

Chest & Abs

Well, I finally did some upper body workouts.

Jillian Michaels - No More Trouble Zones

New YouTube Video

YouTube

nu videos of me

YouTube

nu photos of me

Flickr

Edit

I tagged my last post with "vacation."

Swimming

Something big that affected my life was when I was 1-2 and didn't want to take swimming.  I was put in the pool with this teen boy and made to writhe for a few seconds to float, went totally crazy, exploded.  He seemed racist, and that so disgusted me.  I kept telling my mom to take me out.  Then, I didn't do ballet until I was 5.

When I was 17, I swam in my aunt's outdoor pool immediately, amazing.  Well, I had taken swimming lessons, but this was amazing.  I have lots of good memories with her, but it seems like it wasn't enough.  I'm thinking of kayaking in Key West twice, the 1st time with more people out in the ocean.  The 2nd time, I went on a ghost tour.

What I Should Have Done

I guess, in 11th grade, I should have gotten out of American History APG and trudged along with Advanced Math APG and Physics H.

I guess, in 12th grade, I should have done:

1 Religion IV
2 English V APH
3 Calculus I APH
4 World History
5 Health | Civics
6
7

College - Loyola University New Orleans - Public Relations & Required Minor in French
Graduate & work @ Burbank 4 Disney Junior.

Dream

I was with this girl, and I don't remember what we were doing though we were together awhile.  She had a really big thumb and small pinky.

Then, I went in and saw a lady who was dressed like me, like on my first day of school.  She had a very rich peach top that was like a dress, glittered, over maybe gold glittery pants that were lose.  She hugged me a little.  Then, I was in my bathroom with her and another lady.  The other lady was taller and bigger, and the lady I saw first was just a little taller and was bigger.  I hugged her awhile.

Then, I had another dream.  I think I was at a church with a male preacher.  I was sorta in trouble but not big trouble, for some weird thing I did.  I went out.  I was walking along, met some kids from New Orleans.  They were thinking how their experience was genuine as New Orleanians.  Some had kinda voluminous hair.  They accepted me for some reason, and I Was taken into their stride.

These dreams were long, though I think the 2nd lasted from 11:11 A.M. - like 12:23 A.M.

Good Night!

Tags

Do you think the tags are cute?  I used to just mainly have like halp and race and stuff.  :|  Well, other things, too.  I never listed the tags.

Tired

I need to go to bed, soon.

At Bay

I don't believe in holding people at bay just some of them who are not famous as of the moment.  What kind of suggestion is that?  Who encourages you to want to be famous, these days?  People will realize the undoing of it all, that it was merely a tool and not a reality.  I didn't know I needed a lesson thrown on me.  Where's my comfort?

Language

Well, it seems you have a problem with certain terms around certain topics of discussion.

Help

Don't go crazy.

Please! Help!

Please don't hurt anyone!

Tim Burton

Tim Burton knows that in the experiment I'm in I was indicated by more than 1 person, by 3 or more, to call his daughter the n word.  I didn't do it in a hurtful way, but it could have been interpreted that way to induce pity.

What's your problem?

Why do you think I have to equal my dad?

Tim Burton

I'm unimpressed with Tim Burton being mean and then getting mad at you for getting mad about it.

Race

You pretty much never listen to me because you think I'm not white.

STOP

Stop cursing at people, trying to torture them and affect them.  You wanna talk about "something?"  You can't just imagine this in case in this crazy, totally uncivilized way.  See, the n word thing wasn't a good idea.  You can't blame me "for it" other than for not deciding to literally not listen.  Just shet up!  I wanna go to bed and watch TV!  ':0

Yes

Yes, they are continuing on, and they always do something worse after I say so.

HELP

People are chanting "nigger" at my future daughter, for some strange reason.  She was locked up safe.  Now, she's being reduced to smithereens.  Is this true?  Because "this" is lame.

Family

I'm ready to leave what you want me to be close to my dad as in the dust, and it's just because of the n word thing.

STOP

Don't answer me in a way that's impolite.  Leave me alone.  Get help.  Post online.  Post it in public.  Get a Blogger!  :0

STOP

Look, I'm tired of the way you supposedly ruined my blog.  I'm tired of the antics of Helena Bonham Carter, twisting, smiling, showing up without the facts, the way you might play her or the way she may be that she shouldn't.  I don't deserve to be mistreated.  Stop attacking me for not being perfect because I'm pretty perfect in a lot of things.  Stop being suggestive to my successes because you think I'm not white.  And what's with the negro antics, the crazy eye?

Look, stop sassing at me and torturing me.  I said stop.  ANSWER!

Look, stop cursing around me when I'm relaxing.

I thought I told you to answer.  Or stop.  You ruined my blog!  :0

Stop barking at me with suggestions.  What's your answer now?  Maybe, leave me alone and Tweet it tomorrow.

Race

I think you're always wrong the way you add up "what" I do and are being racist.  What did I do?  I didn't attack anyone.  You're all racist.

You've been wrong to me my whole life.  Go away.  No one in public treats me this way.  Let me meet other people, and stop stalking me.

I like to play around with the n word, but I'm only doing it to protect myself, like having fun, since you guys don't talk to me.  If you have a problem, start being nice to me.

You all have fetishes.  Stop being perverted around me.  Let me alone.  You can't do this.  I said stop being mean to me.  I can feel pleasure over and over.  There's nothing wrong with it, no one thinks.  Figure it out.  Don't ruin my life.  I'm not gonna suffer because of your problems with the n word thing.

What else is wrong?  YouTube?  What?  I was't hurting anyone.  Before, others get praised for it.  I think it's legal to karaoke.  The karaoke is licensed.

Look, quit tapping into my sensitivities.  You must be invincible.

I don't believe you are competent.  So, just stop.  Leave me alone.  Figure out your life.

Sometimes, I make a point, but you don't seem to get it.  I can arrange words how I want.  Sometimes, it's hard to think with my life messed up.  You shouldn't be so hypersensitive to me spending money.

Look, go away.  Let me have my life.  I don't want to be like everyone else.

Stop making these other-worldly sick noises all the time.  Let me rest for once in all these years.  What's your problem?  Come on!  Huh?  Huh?  I said I don't agree with you.  Why do I have to waste my time on your problems?

Please leave me alone with my dad.  I want nothing to do with him.  Just leave me alone.  Just be, like, "left in the dust."

Look, quit barking at me.  Learn to think and talk.  Don't tell me I'm nonsensical because I'm not white!  Stop trying to make me out as not that white.  Maybe, I have to put in effort to be white.  That's because of how people treat me.  Look, you ruined my life.  I guess you say you never cared.  You think you're so better than me.  Well, show yourself.  Don't come hurting me because you didn't get enough attention.

Look, talk.  Quit bothering me with the noises in my room and weird ways of loading things and stuff on my computer.

I want my dad to quit being mean to me and oscillating in how he respecst me.

I have a feeling someone like him will come in and smash a plate over my head.  I'm already on the police board.

Look, quit torturing my life with these Hellish surprises.

ANSWER.  I'M NO NIGGER!

STOP

STOP PLAYING AROUND WITH ME

STOP

Look.  Stop associating bad things with things in my life.  Stop attacking me for how I react in ways I can't control.  Racism against me shouldn't hold me accountable for others's errors, which cannot be against me undone.

Look, you have no right to send me painful messages.  STOP.  I DON'T CARE WHAT MY DAD LETS YOU DO.  GO AWAY if you have to do this.  I guess I don't deserve to ... what, post online?  I can post online because anyone can.

Are you just messing up my blog because you have some fetish.  You can't tell me what to do.  Go away.

Look, I don't care what you people know.  I won't get close to certain people in certain ways.  Stop playing around with me and saying I have no point.  The n word thing doesn't matter.  It's your fault.  Not mine.  I didn't torture anyone.  They wanted it.

Stop bothering me.  I was about to watch a video online.  This is literally eating away at my energy I have left.  You're wasting my time!

ANSWER!

Glitch

I see Blogger has just started to change the way it does labeling.

It makes me feel funny because I am different now, and before people were really harsh on me in the background yet never were open with me about it, like at all really.  I never flat out attack anyone.  Sometimes, I say some things in certain orders.

Look, I won't do this.  I won't listen to this.  I'm from Florida.  I see you're randomly making up things.  Then, you create more things.  I'm from Florida.  I'm not allowed to come at things head on.

What I Should Have Done

High School

Year 1
1 English I G
2 Geometry G
3 Freshman Orientation | Civics
4 Physical Science H
5 PE I
6 Talented Music I - Singing
7 Talented Theater I

Year 2
1 English II G
2 Algebra II G
3 World History
4 Biology I H
5 PE II | Health
6 Talented Music II - Singing
7 Talented Theater II

Year 3
1 English III APG
2 Advanced Math APG
3 American History H
4 Chemistry H
5 Talented Music III - Singing
6 Talented Theater III
7 French I

Year 4
1 English IV APG
2 Calculus APG
3 Physics H
4 Free Enterprise |
5 Talented Music IV - Singing
6 Talented Theater IV
7 French II

After School - Ballet School + Participation in the City

College - Loyola University New Orleans - Bachelor of Music - Singing + Honors

However, now, I wish I ended up as a Communications & French major and worked for Disney Junior in Burbank.

Money Money Money Money

So, my first problem was spending money on college and classes that I shouldn't be attending for ballet because I needed rest and time to myself.  That was kinda why I was away from home so long.  I tried to do general studies, but I was unable to succeed in history and religion.  I did honors previously.  I think these classes are the classes I took where nothing I got from the material nor in class was on the tests.  In high school, I resisted being pulled out of an AP|Gifted class with an attractive French teacher.  I didn't know what I was thinking, but I was influenced to get out of other classes, instead.  She looked kinda like Ellen DeGeneres, when her hair is mousy.  I failed and went to the mental hospital and switched schools twice plus started attending an arts school, in a summer and my last year on Saturdays, for Classical Instrumental Music as a pianist.  I also got a foreign exchange student from Germany who played soccer who was 3|4 French.  I think her last name was German.  It looks like it..  My friend who visited me over the summer had a foreign exchange student from Germany the year before.  Also, up north, I was withdrawn when I was unable to complete a history course in music.  I was up there during a hurricane.  I basically had to switch schools maybe even as early as 5th grade, if not after the 1st semester of 6th grade.  I don't remember when I told my dad, "Oh, no!" when he came home because homework kept me from spending time with him.  Definitely, when we moved, to a public school, as, anyway, the other Catholic one was taken.  The other private one I might like.  However, I ended up going to a public school.

So, when I saw the ad for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I felt a sensation that maybe I should not go to college.  I should stay home and post online.  My dad said I could just stay home in high school when I started to get tired.  I had even ended up like giving myself a more reflective schedule.

I posted online.  I had bought some ballet DVDs before.  So, that was that.  But, then, I got store cards and charged for things related to Tim Burton, like material on Sweeney Todd because people online were going crazy about the details.  Then, I got some other things.  Finally, I couldn't charge anymore, for some reason.  I thought I'd pay it back, somehow.  Because of this and college, money is tight on me.

Also, I was kicked out of my major and didn't know "what" to do.  I was at a prestigious school where I lived for Music Education.  I was staying up too late, but I wasn't steered in the right direction, in the end.  I lost focus and couldn't study in Washington, D.C., over the summer.  The dean wouldn't even sign the paper for me to get credit from the course.  I talked to lots of advisers who were suggestive to me.  This problem may have stemmed from me not reading the honors books for English.

I'm gonna redo what I should have done in high school, now, make a list.

Also, I started not spending much money.  I have a set limit, now.  I guess I'll buy what I need and then save the rest for clothes.  If I see something special, my dad probably would get it.  I'm sure I'll have him buy me some things.  I'm lucky to have the spending I have.  Simply, with my parents, they buy things a little at a time, but, if I keep at it, they'll stop buying as much.  Well, a really little at a time.  It depends on what I need and how long I've gone without things.  I know I'm supposed to learn to support myself, but I see they see I am now incapable...  I should have not skipped eating and exercising for so long.  I needed ear plugs.

Street Sweep

I just cleaned my room for awhile.  Things are put away to an utmost.  I merely need to finish it up!  I need to go through papers.  I might have to disinfect some things, but no biggie.  I am wondering what to spend my money on.  Should I splurge on hygienic material or get some new shirts and maybe some decent pants?  I don't know if I'm tired of the colored pants.  I was really tired of black pants and jeans and some khakis.  My white pants got stained, not sure how to bleach them, should have worn them, anyway.  Ooh, I mean for next month, though.  I just realized I could put some stuff in my drawers that are on my table.  I'm thinking of saving money.  I need eye liner, nail polish, female things, a full-sized hair dryer, new facial cleanser, toner, & moisturizer.  So, that will cost, at least, $40.  Probably $45 - $50.  I have some subscriptions, total to maybe $20 - $25.  I think I can barely make due with the loungewear I presently own.